


you missed my heart

by bexgempisces



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Break Up, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, First Kiss, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Jemma Simmons Needs a Hug, Late Night Conversations, Skye | Daisy Johnson Needs a Hug, They give each other a hug, daisy needs therapy, mainly because of Skimmons tbh, so does simmons, technically, there’s no breakup in this, uh i don’t know what else to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:28:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28622565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bexgempisces/pseuds/bexgempisces
Summary: Daisy was still just as beautiful, but like all stars, she’d exploded. Daisy was beautiful now in that broken way that fascinated Jemma, all jagged edges and fractured lines like the kaleidoscopes Jemma used to have as a child.—Jemma finds Daisy in the common room late at night and they talk.
Relationships: Jemma Simmons/Skye | Daisy Johnson
Comments: 8
Kudos: 59





	you missed my heart

**Author's Note:**

> this literally came out of nowhere i was just bored and my sad spotify playlist was playing (@nostradamus on spotify if you want some iconic playlists) 
> 
> i miss skimmons okay :( 
> 
> WARNINGS: implied suicide attempt (very brief mention, trauma, depression, crying 
> 
> this takes place in season 4 somewhere like early season 4 when daisys come back 
> 
> also i have no idea where lincoln was from so just go with colorado yeah thanks 
> 
> enjoy -bex xx

“Zee?” Jemma asked as she walked into the common room. Daisy’s head snapped to hers from the, was that a motherboard she was building? And for a moment, Jemma saw everything. The deep dark crevices of Daisy’s mind, the nightmares that shook the base, the reckless missions she was taking. For a moment, just one fleeting moment, it was masked or brushed off, it was laid bare before her and Jemma almost forgot how to breathe. 

“Oh, hey.” Daisy said, the shutters drawing closed again. “What’s up, Jems?” 

“Oh um, I just wanted some tea. Couldn’t sleep.” Jemma said, moving to the kitchen to put the kettle on the burner. “Do you want some?” 

“No, can’t stand the stuff.” Daisy said, rubbing her eyes. She kept waking up to a shaking bed and lingering memories of a crackling radio and a flash of a quinjet exploding. So, she’d just stopped sleeping. Problem solved. 

“Didn’t know if you’d started drinking it when you were away.” Jemma said, the air between them heavy with tension. It didn’t used to be this hard to talk to Daisy, it used to be as easy as breathing. Now it felt like they were drowning, rushing water in their lungs dragging them down beneath the surface and they couldn’t quite reach each other. 

But it all used to be easy like that. When they were on the Bus, practically still children, wide eyed and  _ innocent _ . She hadn’t seen combat, had barely left a lab for most of her life, and Daisy was Skye, bright and bold and beautiful. A star in the night sky she’d named herself after. 

Daisy was still just as beautiful, but like all stars, she’d exploded. Daisy was beautiful now in that broken way that fascinated Jemma, all jagged edges and fractured lines like the kaleidoscopes Jemma used to have as a child. 

Jemma guessed that that happened to the best of them though. They’d all grown up since then, a process none of them realised was happening until it was over. Fitz was no longer the boy she befriended in the Academy, her partner in well-organised, tea and Doctor Who fuelled crime. He was burned by the world now, darker and angrier, but sometime he was still her Fitz and that was good, those days were good. 

But there weren’t enough of them and she couldn’t even blame him because she’d changed too. She wasn’t naive and sweet little Simmons anymore, she’d survived six months on a fucking hell planet and lived to tell the tale. She’d been undercover at HYDRA and been tortured and her best friend got alien powers and then mind controlled- 

The kettle whistled, breaking her thoughts. She’d been staring at the wall, Daisy was back to her motherboard. There was a picture on the fridge, one from when they’d had to whole team, Coulson, May, Mack, Bobbi, Hunter, Daisy, Lincoln, Fitz and her. They looked happy. They looked whole. God, what happened to those people? 

Jemma poured her tea into a mug and a glass of water for Daisy and took it over to the couch. She didn’t want to go back to her bunk, didn’t want to pretend to Fitz that everything was fine with them when it wasn’t. That she wanted that domesticity, that easiness of coming home to him in their bunk everyday. That didn’t feel right, it felt easy, not right. 

Secrets will taint something like that. An easiness like that can be shattered the minute someone starts lying and Jemma is the furthest thing from an idiot. She knows Fitz is hiding something from her and she knows it has to do with that goddamn robot. 

“Coming to join my late night activities?” Daisy questions as Jemma sits on the sofa next to her. The pieces of a very broken motherboard sit in front of her, something Jemma could never begin to put together without instructions but Daisy seems to be understanding. Her fingers are still bruised, a hoodie covers her similarly coloured arms. Her knuckles are all busted up, it doesn’t take a genius to know that Daisy took out her aggressions on punching bags. Daisy accepts the water, thanking her with a nod. 

It’s Lincoln’s hoodie, one from his hometown of Colorado. It’s forest green and it practically swamps Daisy. That wouldn’t be very hard though, Daisy was practically nothing nowadays. 

“What are you doing?” Jemma asks, sipping her tea. 

“Only so long you can punch something before it loses the appeal. I used to do this all the time and there’s plenty of parts lying about here.” Daisy explains. “I used to love building computers.” 

“That how you got so good at hacking?” Jemma teases, making Daisy smile a little. 

“Nah, that was natural talent, obviously.” 

“Obviously.” Jemma agrees with a grin. “So, you’re building a computer?” 

“Yup.” 

“Not sleeping?” Jemma questions, wincing when Daisy inhales a deep breath. 

“Could say the same for you Simmons.” Daisy says instead. She could have told Jemma, she could have told her everything. She could have told her about the three attempts, about the scars coating her arms like tally marks, about her skin burning when she was touched. She could she told her about the nightmares, about how she nearly had a panic attack every time she steps foot in a jet and that’s why she forced herself to stay in one when she came back to SHIELD, about waking up in hospital and sobbing because she didn’t want to wake up. 

She could have told Jemma that she’d been in love with her for three years and that’s what made this whole thing so hard, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t put that on Simmons, who was very much in love with Fitz, and dealing with all her own shit that she didn’t need Daisy, broken and damaged and burning Daisy, to damage her further. 

Jemma was too good for that. She was still clean. Daisy was dirty, a broken girl from a broken world. She couldn’t live with herself, (and she was struggling with the whole living is good and we like it thing right now) if anything happened to Jemma. 

“What’s keeping you up?” Jemma asks. Daisy sighs and picks up her screwdriver and the Northbridge. She attaches it to the motherboard and starts to screw it in. Jemma watches her hand shake and wonders if she’s getting an answer at all.

“Nightmares.” Is all Daisy says but Jemma gets that. 

“Me too.” Hive and Maveth and the Pod and HYDRA and a knife cutting into her stomach whilst she screamed. 

“They suck, but at least yours can’t level a town.” Daisy jokes, but it falls flat. She rubs her arms, the scars beneath burning with temptation and shame. 

“So your plan is to just stay awake? Think that’s a bit unhealthy Dais.” Jemma laughs. 

“Ah yes of course, Daisy Johnson, pinnacle of health.” Daisy smirked. “You’re the doc, and yet you’re still sitting here with me.” 

“Must be the company.” They both know that’s not just it. 

“Thanks Simmons, glad my depression is good for something.” The tension from earlier dissipates. They’re just Jemma and Daisy here, not Quake and Agent Simmons. They are normal people here. They are safe here. 

“We probably shouldn’t joke about that.” Jemma says. 

“What else am I supposed to do about it? Get help?” 

“That might actually be worthwhile.” Jemma quips, Daisy scoffs. 

“Wouldn’t get my yearly trauma hair change then would I?” Daisy rakes a hand through the box dye black locks, Jemma sucks in a breath. She’s always liked it when girls did that. 

No, bad Simmons, Jemma thinks. Daisy is a girl you are not allowed. Fitz is in bed, waiting. 

She doesn’t want Fitz. She doesn’t want him in her bed. She doesn’t want any of that. The thought of that suddenly makes her all teary. 

“Jem?” Daisy asks, concern ringing in her voice at Jemma’s tears. “What’s wrong?” 

“I don’t want Fitz.” Jemma whispers, knees drawn up to her chin like she’s five years old and hiding from the monsters in her closet. “I don’t want him.” 

“Oh...” Daisy starts, but what could she say to that? “Sorry”? “That sucks”? She wasn’t any good at this, her boyfriends were either massive douchebags stuck in Hong Kong, a Nazi turned mind-controlling alien blown up in space, or dead, having been blown up with said Nazi. “Do you want a hug?” 

Jemma nods emphatically. God, she’s wanted a hug from Daisy since she walked into that apartment, (the thought of that only makes her cry more) but she’d been too afraid to ask. 

Daisy Johnson is one of those people with their foot halfway in the door. Jemma suspects its her upbringing, it’s made her allergic to putting down roots. She’s insanely loyal to the people she’s with, the people she trusts, but places? She’ll  never stick to one. 

Daisy wraps her arms around Jemma, breathing in the familiar scent of honeysuckle and flowers, the one she always associated with Jemma, with home. If she and Jemma were in the same place then Daisy knew everything would be okay, as long as she could smell that shampoo. Jemma wasn’t wrong when she said Daisy hated roots, she preferred ropes connecting her to people. She could sever it if she needed an immediate release, but she already tied the knots fairly well. 

But Jemma? Daisy was connected to Jemma with more than that, more than ropes and roots and whatever other metaphor they came up with. She loved the woman, and for some reason, she just couldn’t stay away. 

Jemma cried into Daisy’s shoulder, gripping onto Lincoln’s hoodie for all she was worth, great heaving sobs wracking her body. She knew this wasn’t just about Fitz, it was the past four years catching up on her at once. It was the fear that she was losing everyone all over again. It was leaving for HYDRA and coming back to anger and confusion, it was getting sucked through a fucking portal and coming back and nothing being right, it was still feeling that way sometimes, it was Trip dying, it was Bobbi and Hunter leaving, it was Lincoln dying, it was Daisy leaving. It was Daisy coming back, but not the same Daisy that had left six months before. 

It was everything pouring out at once, for ten straight minutes of pure anguish streaming onto Daisy’s shoulder. 

She hadn’t even realised Daisy was talking the whole time, whispering comforting words and promises and even a prayer at one point. Jemma’s eyes cleared a little, her mind wondrously clear for the first time in a very long time, only one thought remaining. 

Jemma pulled back a little and looked Daisy directly in the eyes. She locked eyes with the girl and leaned forward again, a silent question behind those brown eyes that she could get lost in. She nodded and then their lips met. 

It was like something exploded between them. The kiss was gentle enough but it was like a switch had been flipped, suddenly it made sense. It made sense why Jemma didn’t want perfect domesticity with Fitz and why kissing Will felt wrong and why kissing Jessica Park back in primary school felt so right. 

Jemma Simmons was very much into women.

Specifically, Daisy Johnson. 

For her part, Daisy was mainly just confused at what was happening. One minute Jemma was crying, the next they were having an intense staring contest that was charged with electricity and suddenly they were kissing. 

And it felt right. It felt like whoever was up there that had her name on a fucking list that kept sending bad shit her way had had a sudden change in heart and decided to do this one thing for her. Could Jemma love her too? 

“Jem- wait.” She had to know before this became too painful. Jemma sat back, adorably starry eyed and breathless. “Is this what you want? I’m not easy to love Jem, I’m all broken pieces and I get people killed and-“ 

Jemma cut her off by kissing her again, harder this time, trapping Daisy by the shoulders and pulling her closer. She put everything she had into the kiss, praying that Daisy got the message. 

“This is what I want. I want you, Zee. I want all your pieces and edges and nightmares and we’ll work it out together. For both of us, well work it out.” Jemma promised, Daisy nodding. 

“I really love you Jemma.” Daisy whispered. Jemma smiled and tugged Daisy closer again, the world fading to just them and a broken motherboard. Bruised fingertips traced her jaw, Daisy studying every detail of her face like she didn’t want to forget it. 

“I really love you too.” Jemma said, their lips meeting again. Daisy grinned into the kiss, letting the world turn to background noise, vibrations settling until Jemma was all she could feel, the rhythm of her heartbeat, the intake of breath. 

It didn’t matter what happened after this, if robots invaded or the earth ended or aliens took over, right now, they had each other. They had each other and Jemma smelled like honeysuckle and flowers and home, and Daisy tasted like mint and red vines and new opportunity and that was enough. That was everything. 

**Author's Note:**

> thoughts?


End file.
